A Portal Diaper Bag for Geeky Moms

I’ve constantly been on the lookout for something that would work as a diaper bag for geeky moms (and dads who’d rather not be carrying around a bag with a pink cupcake embroidered on the front) so when I spotted the new Portal messenger bags at Entertainment Earth I decided to give one a try.

As mum to a toddler I spend a lot of time at the dreaded mummy and baby/toddler groups and one thing that’s struck me is the range of diaper bags I see, or rather the lack of range. Most mums at my groups either have a plain black freebie (a national pharmacy chain run a parenting club which gives away these bags - there’s scarcely a parent in the UK without one) or one of a few designer bag brands. I considered one of these designer bags myself three years ago but was put off not only by the price, but by how not-me they were. It felt like I was being sucked in by the yummy mummy brigade and would have to give up the geeky side of me to fit in.

Let's start by being vain shall we? It’s orange, I mean really orange, the shade of orange that makes you consider pulling a Katniss* and trying to camouflage it a bit. This does have one massive advantage at mum and baby groups however; at all the ones I’ve attended our bags just seem to end up in a big pile somewhere and as so many of us have the same style, we often find ourselves having to check the contents to make sure we’re taking the correct one home. That’s definitely not a problem you’re likely to encounter with this bag. Whether or not the design is to your taste I can’t say, I found it rather garish at first but it’s grown on me considerably; plus, it’s Aperture Orange which makes it instantly stylish (that’s my story and I’m sticking to it.) The outside does have one nice feature though, it’s waterproof which is always an advantage at any social gathering involving lots of small children.

More important than looks of course is the bag’s storage ability, and that’s where it really shines. You can fit a ton of stuff inside and as any parent knows, you will be carrying a ton of stuff everywhere you go for at least three years. I was able to comfortably pack a stack of diapers, full pack of plastic diaper bags, full pack of wipes, a complete change of clothes for a three year old, a plastic meal container and cutlery, bottle of suncream, tub of diaper rash cream and a cuddly toy in, and the bag wasn’t even close to capacity. We’re well past needing bottles and milk powder but I could have comfortably fit all that inside plus spares without any problems. The material is well padded and the bag shuts with a magnetic clasp and two buckles on the outside; that meant I was able to carry it around and even do some star jumps without everything inside getting knocked around out of place or leaking. The padding means that the bag itself weighs more than an average diaper bag, but as most of us are used to carrying around a lot of weight anyway those extra few ounces are barely noticeable.

Now as this is not a “real” diaper bag there are some features you’ll be missing. There are no insulated bottle pockets inside and it doesn’t come with a matching changing mat either, but for me those are minor quibbles. My freebie bag didn’t have bottle pockets either and changing mats are cheap as chips - you could even buy a plain one and draw your own Portal design to create a matching set if you felt especially artistic. The bag’s $70 price tag is enough to make most of us cringe, but it does sit in the same price bracket as many desirable diaper bag brands. In fact I compared the prices of some of the most desirable bags in the UK and this bag sits below them, so while the rest of your birthing group is splashing out on an OiOi or a Yummy Mummy, maybe you can invest in something a little more to your taste?

I’m looking forward to taking this bag travelling with me next month, I’ll be toddler free for the weekend but the bag also works brilliantly for travelling as an adult. It’s big enough to fit my iPad, bluetooth keyboard, charger, DSLR camera bag with full kit, book, cardigan, huge over-ear headphones and a bottle of water with room to spare making it a perfect travel bag, I could even fit my handbag inside easily too. The wide padded straps mean it sits comfortably on your back too although carrying that much weight around all day will inevitably take a toll - it’s a bag, not a magic weight-reducing portal. The way the bag sits also leaves you arms totally free as well, great for carrying a baby around or allowing you to handle a suitcase onto a train easily.

The perfect diaper (or travel) bag is different for every person but this one certainly ticks a lot of boxes. If you’re looking to stand out from the mummy crowd and have a bit of cash to splash after all the boring baby purchases then this one might well fit the bill.

A Portal bag was provided free for this review by Entertainment Earth.

*In the first Hunger Games book Katniss grabs a bright orange rucksack as the games begin, she then disguises it with mud to help her stay camouflaged in the forest.